Finding Direction: The Wind Vane Chronicles

Words spoken in haste may soon be regretted. That's what I've been thinking most the last three days since arriving here on the edge of the sun. The climate here is less than compatible with life of any form or fashion, and human life in particular. Not only that, the hot broiling sun, a mere scalp away, causes the brain to immediately become addled upon contact, thus causing the slow leaking out of one's ability to reason and further inducing the spilling out of all kinds of confessions under the vile powers of that tortuous orb. Thus, today's entire post contains nothing but revelations of the deepest, darkest kind. Although the first may be something of a much less grievous nature as postulated in sentence one above and mainly caused by a lack of long term memory on the subject. You see, it's not been since 1994 that I last visited this portion of the universe in July and a lot has happened in the intervening years to not only dull my memory, but to, apparently, wipe it out entirely. And, okay, I'm not really visiting here on the edge of the sun. I'm really in Abilene and it just feels like the edge of the sun. The bottom line is that I spoke in haste and in error, perhaps, in waxing bold in my last post about coming out to "the promised land, the city set on the hill, God's country," better known as Abilene, Texas. I failed to take into account the time of year this was that I was trekking across Texas to get here from low lying, swampy Louisiana. Okay - I really flew, not trek. But, the 3 1/2 hour layover in Dallas and the hike from one end of the terminal to the other to eat lunch, and then back, and then out to another building entirely and a second hike made it seem like a trek across Texas. I'm sure I covered at least a quarter of the 800 mile trip across the entire state from Orange, Texas to El Paso just there in DFW International Airport! That sounds pretty plausible, hunh?! But, if I'm going to stay "real" and "honest" here in my true confessions, maybe I didn't walk quite 200 milles through the airport and maybe I did ride all the way down the terminal concourse on one of those carts going the other way after I stopped the kid and asked him if he'd turn around and drive me down the long corridor to the other end since I wasn't supposed to be walkinng. But, it was quite warm that day, even in the terminal. And when I had to leave the building to get on the hot bus and then ride out to the second building, I got my first blast of reality on what West Texas is really like in the middle of the summer. My last two visits last year were in April, when all of the spring wildflowers and gardens were blooming and nights were downright cool, and in October, when all the trees were changing colors and nights, again, were downright cool. Both times I enjoyed excellent weather for the entire trips. The dry climate, cool desert nights and green oasis days with spring rains and flowers and fall foliage were perfect. This time, it's like stepping out into a hot oven in the middle of the afternoon. Thus, I come to my second terrible confession. I've been to Starbucks. I know. I raged wild back a while two posts' worth, no less (see "The Ultimate Gourmet Food" and "Popped Perfection") , about the excesses involved when it comes to frequenting gourmet coffee houses such as Starbucks and totally dissed the practice completely in favor of a much more economical gourmet treat, pop corn. To make matters worse, not only have I already been to Starbucks here in Abilene once (that was on Sunday, too, of all days!) for iced coffee, which I last blamed in "Popped Perfection" on my younger sister Laura's bad influence, we are planning on going again this afternoon. Although our trip later today is gratis our mom who wants me to enjoy my "vacation" and to keep as calm, cool and collected (and caffeinated) as possible considering the current climatological conditions. So, I have good excuses here for my lapse of better judgment in partaking that particuar treat of the "sinning" kind. Sinning against the conscience, that is. And guilt can be a debilitating burden. Which I'm presently trying to relieve, of course, by spilling my guts today. Okay - there's one more. This is one that has been bothering me since last week before I left and which I should have addressed in my last post, but didn't. The afternoon the doctor told me my foot was healed after these long, trying months, I splurged and celebrated by going by the new Starbucks in my own home town where everyone knows me and got an iced coffee there in view of the whole world (it seemed to me after being a shut in for 3 1/2 months)!! Not only that, I drove right by the local coffee shop which had long been my favorite place to splurge on such delicacies and felt terribly guilty about that, too! Thus, I piled up two conscience tugging acts at once and didn't bat an eye. (At the time, that is. The guilt set in later.) Oh well. Some of us were having a very long, drawn out discussion over at Weekenders a couple of weeks ago on "mask wearing" and most were of the opinion that we should be more "open" and "real" in our lives with each other so that other people will really "know" who we are, so I guess you can consider this my contribution. But this is about as real as you're going to get from me today. I'm sitting right now in air conditioned splendor in front of my sister's computer contemplating that great iced coffee I'm going to have later at Starbucks and feeling pretty happy with myself. So, more revelations of the sun inducing kind are going to have to wait until much later. Go to Starbucks today. Have an iced coffee, think of me, feel good about it and know that's about as "real" as anything going on today in Abilene, Texas. Here on the edge of the sun.

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